Heartbreaks of a Warrior
by cuethepulse-old
Summary: Challenges for the 10 themes of Heartbreak Hotel on LJ, with the character Usopp. First 4 posted.
1. The Tale That Came True

The Tale That Came True   
Theme: #2 – first love  
Disclaimer: One Piece and its characters do not belong to me.

He'd already known that he would miss her when he went out to sea. He'd thought all about it before, had already spent his nights awake in bed, pining for her touch before he'd even left the island. He'd wanted to get it out of the way, and it had been a good idea – when Luffy had looked down at him, had called him "nakama", he had been too overwhelmed to think twice about missing anyone.

But then, after that, after sailing for a few days and nights, after drinking grog and letting his throat go sore from singing loudly (and quite badly), he started to miss her again. The thoughts of her drifted into his head slowly, lazily, like molasses, starting with the tinkling sound of her laughter and ending with the warmth of her gaze. And it occurred to him one night, while occupying himself by watching the stars from the Crow's Nest, that – maybe – she missed him too. At first, he smiled at the thought, and felt a happy fluttering inside his chest and stomach that made him squirm with delight. But then, he felt cold. Bone-numbingly cold.

She _missed _him. Perhaps, even _pined_ for him, as he had done for her. And he knew how that felt, how it beat against the insides of the heart. It had been painful for him, and now he was making her feel that pain, too. He felt sick. He had never considered this. If he had, well, maybe he never would've left. He slumped down in the Crow's Nest, feeling too heavy inside to stand.

He remembered once, when he had sat upon the tree outside the window, and she'd asked him whether or not he had ever fallen in love. He had no way of telling her – no proper way, anyhow – that she was, in fact, his first love. Instead, he'd replied, "Oh no, brave Captain Usopp hasn't the time to fall in love. But I've certainly broken a few hearts in my time, if you know what I mean!" She had laughed then, as she always had, and he'd launched into a tale of a young maiden who wept for forty days and forty nights after the amazing long-nosed captain had bid her farewell.

He remembered that now, as he closed to eyes in an attempt to quell an onslaught of tears, and hated himself and hated that story. For once, one of his tales came true.


	2. Simply Betrayal

Simply Betrayal  
Theme: #1 – betrayal  
Disclaimer: One Piece and its characters do not belong to me.

After taking the _Going Merry _and leaving them behind on the Baratie, Nami had never betrayed them again. Sometimes, she worried Usopp with her hunger for money – he was always relieved when he realized she was—_simply_—joking. He knew that she wouldn't do anything, not again, that would possibly destroy the crew.

That was why he was so surprised when she finally gave in to their cook's romantic advances. No one else thought it was a big deal, so he didn't say anything about it. But inside he was shouting, shouting _why would you_—and _how did you not see—_and _if you had known, then would you still_— He was dying inside with indecision, because part of him knew that—_yes_—had she known how he felt for her, then—_no_—she wouldn't have kissed Sanji, or done anything else that even fell into the category of kissing Sanji. He knew she wouldn't, not because she felt the same way—_gods forbid_—but just because it would have hurt him. It would have horribly, horribly hurt him. It would be like she was turning against him, choosing the love of one crewmate over another. It would be betrayal.

All he had to do was tell her. And a large part of him wanted to, wanted to just take her by the shoulders and say, _I love you and I have to watch this, do you understand_? But he didn't and he wouldn't. Because she was happy—_simply_—with Sanji. And Sanji was happy—_deliriously_—with her. And if he told her how he felt, they would lose that happiness. If he told her—_listen, I'm miserable_—it would be—_simply_—betrayal.


	3. Pirates Are Coming

Pirates Are Coming!  
Theme: #3 - Lies  
Disclaimer: One Piece and its characters do not belong to me.

It was his first lie.

_Pirates are coming! Pirates are coming!_

He started it a few months after his father left, a week or so after his mother started looking tired. He ran through the village, hands cupped around his wide mouth, calling—

_Pirates are coming!_

People would come to visit his mother on her weaker days, and would hear him begin his cry. They would turn to her and ask, "Why does he do that? Why does he cry out such lies?"

_Pirates are coming! Everyone, pirates are coming!_

She would smile wearily and look out the window to see his small figure approaching from the distance. She knew what he was doing, how he was trying to make her happy, trying to remind her that Yasopp was returning home some day and she had to be there to greet him. She knew, and so she would say, "They aren't lies. They're hope."

_Pirates are coming!_

After his mother passed away, Usopp still ran through the town with his false exclamations. No one really knew what he was hoping for, then. The resurrection of his mother? The return of his father, to see what his absence had caused? The arrival of the crew that would be his escape?

_Pirates! Pirates are coming!_

He would continue to tell lies as life went on. He made up exploits to the three young boys he called his crew, hoping to impress them and gain their companionship. He told stories to Kaya through her bedroom window, hoping to make her laugh and forget her troubles. He boasted to his enemies, hoping to confuse or distract them or give them false impression. He lied, hoping to survive. But no lie, no hope, would hold more meaning for him than that very first one that he used to see the tired and chapped lips of his mother form even the smallest smile.

_Pirates are coming! Pirates are coming!_


	4. To Be Like Them

To Be Like Them  
Theme: #7 - lusting/desiring the unobtainable  
Disclaimer: One Piece and its characters do not belong to me.

He can't pretend in moments like this, and he hates that.

When he's pressed between two hard bodies flavored with sweat, when he's panting against Zoro's broad shoulders, when his knees—buckling—are scissoring with Sanji's strong legs. When the grunts and the groans and the bite marks and the saliva is mixing together too quickly, too much, and making his vision go spotty. When suddenly he can't tell who he's kissing, all he knows is that they're conquering him, his mouth, his pumping blood. When the groping gets rougher and the grasping gets tighter and the thrusting is erratic and he's writhing limbs and they're heated and moving, but still men.

He can't pretend then, there, in all that, he can't pretend. He can't lie. He can't call himself "captain", can't call himself a "warrior", isn't even sure he can call himself by his name; doesn't know if he can call himself anything but "boy" or "servant" or "coward", or even "fool". He can't pretend when he's with them, naked, baring everything he has to them and seeing all they have in return. All he can do is touch, taste, and wish to become.


End file.
